It is Sunday afternoon and my time with you is dwindling and it is so hard to prepare for that. Everyone has gone to lunch and I am watching you roll around inside my tummy. It is cold and cloudy outside, another perfect day to be inside. Last night your daddy took me out to get a few more things for Tuesday, your birthday. Kind of a cool birthday 12/29/09 just 2 days left in the remaining year. I feel like I should be doing something to prepare for you, but I do not know what else to do. We have not told your big sisters you are coming Tuesday, but we will soon. I know you are comfortable inside of me and I also know you are no longer growing and it is time, I just hope and pray for peace. I hope you know that we tried to make the best decisions for you and we have tried to keep you comfortable along this seemingly long, but in reality short journey. You have changed our lives in so many ways and your little life has impacted many people. I have had people from all over the world reach out to tell us they are praying. So many people love you. In many ways I will never be the same. I know how blessed we are to have carried you. I know how blessed we are to have so many wonderful people in our lives. You were so wanted and will be so missed. I know that your journey is not without meaning and we will always miss you and remember you. If we are blessed to meet you before you go to heaven we will do our best to make good choices and if you go to heaven before you make it into our arms, that is ok too, we know that God is in control and He knows what is best for you.
I have had some very vivid dreams about you the last few nights and none of them have been frightening at all which is comforting. In my dreams you are big and healthy and the doctor is someone I have never seen before, but he is not a stranger. This doctor is calming and he has a good sense of humor. He gave me a shot of something and I felt no pain, not even the shot. Labor was easy on us and the doctor stayed with us the entire time, as if we were his only concern. I do not know what this means, it could be wishful thinking on my part, but regardless, I am thankful. I love you.
Love, mom
Jodi, I have found you through ivillage. I pray tonight and for the next step in the journey you and your family are about to experience. I know this expereince all too well. I will write more when the time is right. For now please know that I am praying for you. As I try and write to you now, I have come to realize there is nothing more I can say to you to make things better. So I will not try.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for all of you every day.
Lori Snowden
Mother of two wonderful children, and a perfect angel.
Jo, I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you all day and night. Knowing this was Michael's last full day and night snuggled inside of you. You have done an amazing job of taking care of him these last months. Every decision, every thought, every action was all done with his best interest in mind. And even though you don't see yourself as doing something that extraodinary, I think you would be suprised to know that you are *very* exraordinary to anyone who knows you or what you are doing for your son.
ReplyDeleteI am praying that the dream you had about a kind and wonderful doctor in the delivery will give you peace that the ultimate physician, God, Himself, will be in your delivery tomorrow. He will be here surrounding you, protecting you and comforting you - and baby Michael.
No matter what tomorrow brings, you are the best mom Michael could have ever had. And the love you have shown him has awed, amazed, humbled and broken me. No matter how it all unfolds - you are very loved by all who know you. And I hope you take comfort that there will be countless prayers lifted up on your family's behalf tomorrow.
((((((HUGS))))), prayers, love xoxoxo