Sunday, October 25, 2009

99 Balloons

I have watched this a few times and every time I see it I cry because I know, I know that I love this child already. Knowing his prognosis and knowing what is to come does not really actually make this any easier. The only thing that is probably different is I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and I am not out buying baby things or preparing the nursery - because I know that if he does come home he will be in my arms until he is ready to go and I am grieving instead of celebrating - so in reality perhaps the amnio was not the best thing we did. We did it to prepare, not for us, but for him, to find a good doctor, to figure out where to deliver. This is just not something I ever even considered as a possible prognosis - after all even given my age, our odds were 1 in maybe 5000 after our blood work, how did this happen? Why even do the triple screen?

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