Morgan's Note

My youngest has been so excited and although she knows that we do not expect Michael to live, her desire and innocence are sometimes overwhelming. She asks some pretty tough questions. Last night in bed she brought me this letter for Michael and asked me if he would at least be born alive? Well, I can't answer that I told her and I explained that I knew the answer she wanted to hear, but that I needed to be very honest with her and that it was very unlikely that he would be born alive. I told her she could ask me any question she wanted to ask, so she asked why they can't fix this and what does it actually do to him? She cried then and asked why he couldn't live for a year? I cried with her and then she did it, she asked the most difficult question of all. Why did God give him to us if we can't keep him? Seriously? Come on, I am hormonal anyways, not fair! I thought about the whole he is so sweet and perfect, God wants him back answer, but nah, that could be scarey or what if she thinks she is not sweet and perfect? So I did it, I answered her, in my most profound moment, the answer was... drum roll please... "I don't know". I know deep. Their is no instruction manual for this and I often fumble. She then asked me if we could have another baby ~ ummmm