Wow! An awful lot has transpired in the last week ~ I do mean awful...

We went in for a routine appointment. The baby looked great at my doctors appt the week before, the AFP test came back and they did not see any reason to do anymore testing, just a level II ultrasound which excited us as we got to see our little man one more time.

As we watched him on the screen he danced around like a crazy man, literally all over the place. The tech assured us he was in fact a boy. She spent a lot of time taking a lot of different measurements which was really what we expected, but it seemed to me that she spent a really long time on his little heart.

After awhile, my maternal fetal specialist came in and started looking at the baby himself and he explained he saw a few things that he really was not too concerned about, but they merited a discussion. He saw two cysts in his brain, which he also explained could be nothing and would likely go away. He saw a small hole in his heart which he also explained may correct itself and certainly nothing lethal. He also saw a slightly enlarged kidney that was what he called borderline by 1mm. All three of these things could however be potential markers for some chromosonal issues. My husband and I really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy as it likely our last, so we opted for an amnio to help us prepare for every possibility ~ no intentions however to terminate. We are told the results will likely take a week, but not to worry as it is such a remote possibility that anything at this point is wrong. I of course am a bit worried about Downs but also optimistic.

Fast forward to that dreaded phone call no mother ever wants to get. The genetic counselor called Monday at 4:30 and I heard her voice telling me it was not downs but that we had a very unexpected trisomy 18 that was fatal. What do I do with that? My husband finally has his little boy, my girls are so excited, we just bought him his first outfits and we cleaned out the office this past weekend to make a nursery. Fatal, really, are they sure? Miracles happen, right??? I feel him kicking me and getting the hiccups. He looks so wonderful on the 3D ultrasound. How can this be happening to us? Not us, not this far along, this just can't be real. What now? How do we tell everyone? How do we tell anyone? Boys have a 10% chance of not being stillborn after diagnosis and virtually a slimmer chance of making it more than a day if they are not stillborn.