So I have to keep it together, it is my little girls birthday and she is sad about her baby brother. That is just not fair, but children are honest and Morgan especially likes to ask questions and talk, so I think she will be sad, but she will communicate her feelings. I turned my phone off after my wonderful husband wrote an email to the majority of our friends today letting them know just what is transpiring in hopes we can alleviate stress in everyones lives and also so they will hopefully pray for us and maybe help my little girls understand what is happening.
Today is rough as everything is setting in and as I come to terms with what will not be. My girlfriend Shayne (after I did not answer the phone) came over and sat with me and cried with me and it meant so much to have her here. I am not the best with words, but she knows me well and is a nurse and along with my older daughter Jessica they read me better than I read myself, pretty much all the time.
At dinner the girls decided to name their little brother after an angel ~ so he can watch over us, which makes me sad and yet it is so sweet. It still doesn't seem real. I have been awake since yesterday morning, just can not sleep yet...
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