The pickle

For those of you that do not celebrate this German gherkin tradition, let me give you the quick version. The pickle ornament is the last ornament to go on the tree. It is hidden in the branches of the tree and the first person to find the pickle ornament on Christmas morning gets to open the first gift, but most importantly, the pickle brings good luck. So every Christmas, Morgan gets my father a jar of pickles for Christmas for good luck. The point of mentioning this is because today we had Burger King for lunch and Abbi always removes her pickles from her burger and today she gave them to me. Morgan and Abbi then proceeded to discuss the luck of the pickle. We have tried to help Abbi and Morgan understand what is wrong with Michael and quite honestly, we know their is an extra chromosome in every cell of his body and we know the outcome, but it is hard enough for us to understand let alone an 8 and 9 year old, so to their defense, we get it. Abbi said, "Mommy, if you eat enough pickles - maybe Michael will make it." This is seemingly easier to explain than a miracle occurring or not occurring, until it comes out of your hopeful child's mouth. I smiled and told her the pickles would not help in this circumstance. Abbi relied, "and how do you know?" It sounds sad when I write it, but it was actually a little funny. I cannot quash the miracle argument - miracles happen everyday, a child is a miracle, Michael is a miracle but pickles bringing luck, well...


We are scheduled to go to the hospital in 10 days, I have 10 days to enjoy my son and as we get closer I do question my strength. I know we made the right choice to carry Michael and God does send little reminders of this all the time, so I feel very blessed. Morgan asked me if I was sick when I was pregnant with her, and I told her no that I was not. Morgan likes to ask hypothetical questions (A LOT) so then she asked, if you needed to, would you have been on bed rest for a year to have me? Well, of course I would have. I have been on bed rest for about 6 weeks and we have had so much support, emotional and otherwise, I am so grateful. I am not going to lie, it feels like it has been longer and it has been trying at times, but I realized when Morgan asked me this question, she realized how much we all love Michael and I realize how really short this journey is. God is teaching us and I know we are learning and hopefully growing. I also have a peace about Michael's birth right now. I know God has a plan and given the statistics, we have already come a long way. I know Michael may not make it through birth and if that happens, I know that his short life is still meaningful. Please pray that we are prepared for what is to come, and that emotionally, spiritually and physically we are ready and that we are able to be strong for our girls and that they are able to handle this as well.