Back from vacation!

I know I have not been posting much, but not because I haven't wanted to as much as I have been doing a bit of thinking, but I assure you Michael has been on my mind.  We all went to Puerto Rico last week and it was beautiful.  I will be putting pictures up on my other blog this weekend if you really want to see, but while my husband and the girls were doing the last hike of the day in the rain forest, I took a break.  Just a little quiet time and it was so beautiful.  The birds seem to communicate with each other and it is so amazing.  I collected rocks and made Michaels name at the top of a little area under some trees, just because : )

The night we arrived in Puerto Rico we went to the roof of our hotel and it was a full moon - I love full moons as they also remind me of Michael.  Little reminders everywhere - just kind of make me happy. 

I love this! My sister in law and brother are Michael's Godparents and they remembered him for Easter! I hope you can zoom in on this, because it is the best thing anyone could have done this year.  World Vision
2 chickens were given in my sons name to other children in need.  This is such a perfect gift and reflection of God's compassion, mercy, and watch over "the least of these."  I have been struggling a bit with understanding this and this just could not have come at a better time.  I know I am still on this journey of trying to find peace and acceptance and some days I am better than others, but Easter without Michael seemed a little sad this year, so this was so incredibly thoughtful and appreciated.  Thank you!!!

We did make Michael his very own Easter egg this year and I imagine we will continue to do this every year : )

On a very happy note I finally got the pictures of Michael from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and I am still digesting them a bit, but I have every intention of getting thos up this weekend as well - so keep watching, thanks for looking and blessings to everyone that is still following. 

Disappointment

OK, so I have to admit, it is strange, one moment I think I am ok and then something seemingly small will happen and I realize how distant a memory Michael is becoming for many. Not for me... Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is such a wonderful organization, but my experience has made me sad. I counted on them to take pictures, so I didn't really take any and it has been over 2 months now and I don't have pictures or a fun slide show : ( After sending several emails I just got an email back tonight from someone else telling me I will have pictures in a few more weeks. I know things happen, but as medical bills pour in and people continually move on (business is business) this is just one more reminder of how seemingly unimportant our journey is or was to many. Perhaps my expectations were unreasonable, but when you are expecting something like pictures of your baby that is dead, gone, it feels like we were just forgotten. It is a volunteer group, so you can't really complain? We had three photographers and I suppose I just don't understand, or maybe I fear more disappointment...