tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18056022259828227362024-03-05T16:46:40.207-06:00Michael's TreeOur journey through life ~ trisomy 18 diagnosis, life after loss and rainbow baby/babies, infertility, advanced maternal age and the new normal - dealing with grief.Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-29607562459263029022013-12-29T23:54:00.001-06:002013-12-30T07:10:37.496-06:00On the night you were born...So it has been awhile - actually I have written several times, but none have ever seemed worthy of posting. I suppose I semi retired Michael's blog. Weird I know, but today I feel like it is the day to post. Every year we light fireworks or set off a lantern and perform some small RAOK (random act of kindness) - it's a fun way to remember his birth and as a babyloss mother, it's really all I can do, that is one of the hard parts - there's no one to take care of, nothing to take care of, so this is something we can do and it makes someone else happy too...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watching Michael's lantern float away</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Super Wyatt - Michael's little brother, our suprise rainbow "pot of gold"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Amazing Destin Sunset - just for tour 4th Heavenly Birthday</td></tr>
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Dear Michael,<br />
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today would have been your fourth birthday. I imagine you healthy and whole as I know you now are. I do have a few regrets and I would be lying to say I have not struggled. Some things were certainly predictable - disappointment, anger, guilt, sadness - I am confident that I have experienced them all and 4 years later - I need to write this because maybe, just maybe this may help someone who needs it and maybe that someone is me...<br />
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There are many things I have learned over the years, one is I have a tremendous amount of guilt that I have carried around, for a long time. The logical side of me knows I did everything I could and made choices based on what was happening with you and myself, but the mother in me still wonders - what if... what if I had insisted on a c-section, insisted on an amnio reduction, what if I had found some of these awesome internet based support groups sooner, would I have been a stronger advocate? Maybe, but maybe the result would be the same and regardless as I watch in awe of these amazing mothers and fathers struggle with their special needs children, would I have been strong enough to handle taking care of you? Living in constant fear of everything, from feeding tubes to breathing tubes, I don't know, but I can say that I wish I had the chance. I wish I could have held you a little bit longer and little closer.<br />
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I remember the day and the moment you were born as if it were yesterday - the deafening silence of your birth, no crying, no celebration, no first anything. I still think of you daily, but especially on Holidays, you are always missing, you were not nor could you ever be replaced and you will always be missed.<br />
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Being a mother to an angel is a tough job. Not the toughest, but it is pretty rough. I have a responsibility to my family to be happy and I can honestly say that having lost you made me realize how blessed I am to have your older sisters and little brothers. I never imagined that this could ever happen to me - never. It did, and although I realize it did for a reason, what kind of crap reason could that be??? I have met some amazing people along the way, some people that have also gone through this and quite a few that I didn't even realize our sad bond, but I realize now that I am nowhere near alone. I wish I were, but this happens too often.. The internet is a powerful tool in allowing families to share and to heal and for this I am also thankful.<br />
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Your little brothers know about you and they speak about you being in heaven often (well Trey does, Wyatt doesn't say anything yet). I keep your ashes in a special private spot - I am pretty protective of your memory and I try as best as I can to make sure you are not forgotten. In time we will all be forgotten, but while I am still here, I will make sure I speak your name and preserve your memory. You are part of a big crazy family and in time you will see us all. <br />
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I wish I dreamt of you more, but know that I am happy and although I miss you, I will always be thankful for every moment and I will always take this day to remember happy things. Your kicks. Your pouty little lips. Your long skinny legs. Your dark thick hair. Your perfect little toes. Your soft baby skin. Your tiny little perfect fingers and your baby button nose. For this I am thankful, for <a href="http://www.nilmdts.com/" target="_blank">NILMDTS</a> I am thankful. Time does not heal all wounds, but it does add clarity. I will always occasionally shed a tear - I think that is ok. <br />
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Love,<br />
Mommy<br />
<br />Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12212772044397054192noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-63890230415290902852011-07-07T17:36:00.000-05:002013-01-01T03:14:25.535-06:00PoppyToday is a new chapter in my life that I must say I am not looking forward to. My father is very sick. We call him poppy. My father has always been a strong man - perhaps every little girl thinks of daddy as big and strong, but I still remember him putting things together for me and catching fish on our summer vacations. I remember him always being there when I did a stupid thing or two... Anyways, he had a massive heart attack about 7 years ago and we have been blessed with 7 additional years and here we are today faced with the big "C", you know the word you only whisper in hopes that maybe it will disappear. Well, he was certainly hoping it would disappear and I can not say I blame him. This morning he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon and liver cancer. Stage 4 - that sounds pretty awful. I stewed most of the afternoon and finally I got to talk with him and he said, "don't worry baby I still have a dance or two left in me." I said, "you better poppy." and he said of course I do...your always going to be my little girl." Ok, I lost it, couldn't talk I still can't. How does this happen? Why is this a reality and I suppose I really took his existence for granted. One of my closest friend lost her father unexpectedly a few days before Trey was born in fact she buried her father the day Trey was born and I was talking to her earlier and she said, you know you are lucky in the sense that you have time to say your goodbyes and she is right and yet I really hate that he is scared and I really really hate seeing him suffer. So here we go and I am praying and hoping for a little bit longer with this big ole teddy bear of a man we all love... Poppy <a href="http://playintheodds.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">playintheodds.blogspot.com</a>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-31984329043070299642011-06-02T10:53:00.000-05:002011-06-02T10:53:00.369-05:00Happy Birthday!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I have to say having a rainbow brought with it many emotions I was not sure how to deal with. We are over the moon in love with this little guy and I am not taking any of it for granted I promise. I am pretty tired and not complaining because he is here, he is healthy and we are blessed. His sisters are over the moon in love.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_keJB6hEO96P8MbaaK3LUr552xZNG3Qbh1sJApfe2yxLP8sWE18OYLJ4_nthOVP-Ec5NSRUgjChyIprTCZD1H98908bRC_KaMUHrDfesOvyzpSb1bCfyR2Bf5nB_uvle163gg6JjMars/s1600/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11090.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_keJB6hEO96P8MbaaK3LUr552xZNG3Qbh1sJApfe2yxLP8sWE18OYLJ4_nthOVP-Ec5NSRUgjChyIprTCZD1H98908bRC_KaMUHrDfesOvyzpSb1bCfyR2Bf5nB_uvle163gg6JjMars/s320/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11090.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">His daddy likes him a little too...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9q96Vis_AG2BnwRfJdkmrWd3lZBRnELcEcLHtj0lZ1nZ_LKfT5IFX9tfREu2OHvhmq1zG_A0Gt872X7KDhxN4uhC7hxCqpd4CRgRgmgVSlYnw3XdVyGL9Zp4WVvAQ-25byfqyT5v43Ls/s1600/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11235.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9q96Vis_AG2BnwRfJdkmrWd3lZBRnELcEcLHtj0lZ1nZ_LKfT5IFX9tfREu2OHvhmq1zG_A0Gt872X7KDhxN4uhC7hxCqpd4CRgRgmgVSlYnw3XdVyGL9Zp4WVvAQ-25byfqyT5v43Ls/s320/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11235.JPG" width="214" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqKiTE4vxAEd5IlL37kbubUf2f7dvAC7pzrj7DVGMorexgLmm1IOk_URfmsG1kal4FDghYuc-HClaEcJGQlpIyJLVw-ed57llDOWj53rVEqmbWk3-pek48arqoRGgEtdnH-gMRGnvMQs/s1600/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqKiTE4vxAEd5IlL37kbubUf2f7dvAC7pzrj7DVGMorexgLmm1IOk_URfmsG1kal4FDghYuc-HClaEcJGQlpIyJLVw-ed57llDOWj53rVEqmbWk3-pek48arqoRGgEtdnH-gMRGnvMQs/s320/Jodi+Ketchersid+5-15-11215.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Now to my defense, things did get a little bananas... I went to my regular appointment and my blood pressure was pretty high so my doctors decided to induce me a few weeks early. I checked in and pitocin was started around noon. His heart rate dipped a few times but oxygen was added and I turned on my side and all was well. His birth was very peaceful and he came out screaming!!! Music to our ears. My sister in law had just picked up the girls from school and they all walked in a few minutes before he was born, it was just perfect timing. We went home a few days later and my blood pressure went through the roof a few days after that and I ended up back in the hospital. That was hard on everyone. I am still on blood pressure medicine, but I am being slowly weened off. Trey is doing well. He does not sleep for long periods of time, but we are smitten and I will sleep in a few years.Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-68888978174844431052011-06-02T10:08:00.000-05:002011-06-02T10:08:21.252-05:00Our little man...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Quzh2Ubv6f-CuJ8Ch0WeYnEFlHm1nguqi18ImvzTpe_Ub-G3H54ihx7NPi5GUOKjg8gr7e7RFXHdp8gUm9pJtRqcCOQ3V9HxTavDBwB8LtLDL7SA5AeK4oEzl5WGZ34CdTOyAYrsrrU/s1600/%257B7d1dac54-f19a-4fc7-8019-0ce10ab794a6%257D_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Quzh2Ubv6f-CuJ8Ch0WeYnEFlHm1nguqi18ImvzTpe_Ub-G3H54ihx7NPi5GUOKjg8gr7e7RFXHdp8gUm9pJtRqcCOQ3V9HxTavDBwB8LtLDL7SA5AeK4oEzl5WGZ34CdTOyAYrsrrU/s320/%257B7d1dac54-f19a-4fc7-8019-0ce10ab794a6%257D_7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">With love, we welcome William Lee Ketchersid April 25th, 2011 at 6lbs, 14oz and 20 inches long</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-32159134537191001192011-04-23T15:55:00.000-05:002011-04-23T15:55:44.967-05:00We are getting close...Well, we are certainly getting close - I go to the doctor on Monday and I keep expecting the other shoe to drop. On one hand I am ready, on the other I am scared to death. Weird I know. I am scared of the obvious, that he will die, I am also afraid (because we did not test) of chromosonal problems. This is a true concern of mine for many different reasons, but he is measuring the smallest so far of all my babies and we are having weekly ultrasounds at this point. His femurs are measuring a little more than a week behind the rest of his body, but really that is his only "marker". <br />
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My last appointment - my doctor (whom I really like) told me that they want to induce me at 39 weeks if I do not go into labor on my own this week. Ok, I initially thought, but then he told me why. I put on my big girl panties and I heard him, but I really do not like to put on my big girl panties because sometimes they are not very (ehh hmmm) comfy. Anyways, he told me given my advanced maternal age, coupled with my hypertension and my mthfr gene mutation - "well, sometimes those babies just die at the end". Really? Could you not candy coat it a little bit??? I know, I know, but sheesh! He also told me that I am running a rish of having a c-section this time if the induction fails. Ok, he is just a ray of sunshine huh???<br />
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So please say a little prayer for a safe delivery and for me to go into labor on my own, because I am a little neurotic anyways this time : ) and Happy Easter!!!Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-65577106240850370572011-03-14T08:19:00.000-05:002011-03-14T08:19:52.634-05:00A NEW kind of nestingI remember when my first child was born. All those years ago, I remember everything being ready to bring her home and sitting quietly in her room dreaming of what it would be like. I remember that quiet as if it were yesterday, it was bliss. Clothes were washed and put away perfectly. It is a little different this time. I am actually going through clothes, but not baby clothes. I have some sort of internal struggle going on right now, knowing I should prepare and wanting to prepare and being afraid to prepare. Other mommy's I have talked with that have experienced that kind of loss seem to have similar feelings. It is a strange place to be because these rainbow babies hold a very special place in this world and it is certainly not that we are not excited ~ because that is so far from the truth, but perhaps it is out of fear or maybe it is because I now know the stuff is not nearly as important as the package we ultimately get to bring home. I think somehow I am trying to protect my heart. As if coming home with out a baby after bonding with him inside of me under any circumstance would be made easier because I did not have stuff... Silly brain, it is impossible to turn it off. With Michael, I know that coming home and not being pregnant and not having any reminders around the house actually in some ways made it harder. That quiet. Knowing it should not be quiet...that was not bliss.Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-33151156322981126062011-03-12T09:04:00.000-06:002011-03-12T09:04:47.482-06:00Our Rainbow...Ok I am going to give this a whirl because that US tech was so nice I want to share with you. The umbilical cord is up by his head and he is kind of folded up like a taco, so some of it looks distorted, but he has his daddy's lips that is a for sure!!! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFI14VqiJ8if4XOBo6AjotSLen-WZ1DfZjvYRWWdJfTLx1XOMD0aF60JdHqq8RwyxG-EPIatSRCXW6bvIcIJ8i_EROzQKjKiuZ8jDE_et1hzZAVHxFLR4jqyXgWcMDhtnvhDgVC3mkMLQ/s1600/Trey+31+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFI14VqiJ8if4XOBo6AjotSLen-WZ1DfZjvYRWWdJfTLx1XOMD0aF60JdHqq8RwyxG-EPIatSRCXW6bvIcIJ8i_EROzQKjKiuZ8jDE_et1hzZAVHxFLR4jqyXgWcMDhtnvhDgVC3mkMLQ/s320/Trey+31+weeks.jpg" width="254" /></a></div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-24823664952604408772011-03-10T09:32:00.001-06:002011-03-12T08:59:51.243-06:00Well it is bedrest again...So I have been confined to the parameters of my bed (again) and so I write... Yesterday my blood pressure went through the roof! It was in the neighborhood of 157/115 so I had to go to the hospital to be monitored and for labs, but in reality its not so bad because (a little happy dance here) I had no bad stuff in my labs (like protein- so my kidneys are working properly) and just getting off my feet made it drop to 120/65 within about an hour without medicine, so we are good, just a little extra time to do nothing. The other good news is he looks great and I got to see a 3D ultrasound and he really looks like his daddy. He has the same pouty lips. I wish I knew how to put the pictures up (I will work on that later). So I am a little nervous I am not going to lie, he is breech and I know he can move, but we are getting close now. I am completely not prepared for our new addition thinking I still had plenty of time, but I did order cradle bedding. Nothing for the crib yet, but we will get there. Here is a picture of his cradle bedding...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WRuhlGCAwIyH2r5c-D3FcvS0qJQckPXQlBBcp94s2GivK4ec4sQohGNg7okQ4jGsqsUI5HEjm9r5SZiH-NADzMYBHUG8rmGaSZtB2vLyO7KL_CeXj2ZYfC9UNxqdZsadWi_XPOzR-z8/s1600/cocoacradlebedding1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7WRuhlGCAwIyH2r5c-D3FcvS0qJQckPXQlBBcp94s2GivK4ec4sQohGNg7okQ4jGsqsUI5HEjm9r5SZiH-NADzMYBHUG8rmGaSZtB2vLyO7KL_CeXj2ZYfC9UNxqdZsadWi_XPOzR-z8/s320/cocoacradlebedding1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-33611685957047053802011-02-24T09:55:00.000-06:002011-02-24T09:55:39.824-06:00My little pony...Ok, so I have to admit on some levels I think I was afraid to post too much here - because this is Michael's blog. I do not want to ever take away from him, but his story is not over as I would not be having my rainbow baby if it were not for Michael. So here I am 29 weeks pregnant - and huge!!! I have never been this huge. I am so going to try to enjoy the time I have left because this is most certainly the last time in my life I will experience this. Having him wiggle worm all over right now (and he is...I think perhaps he is trying to walk). I love all the little hiccups. I forgot about that and Michael never had the hiccups or if he did, I did not feel them because of ALL the fluid around him, but this little guy absolutely has the hiccups a few times a day and he loves to move. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing but when I am sleeping or tired, he is not. <br />
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The reality is setting in that we are really doing this again. I still have some fears as I said earlier, we did not do an amnio this time so we are certainly facing some possibilities and my next appointment is March 1st with the specialists doing another echo. I have a love hate relationship with Dr. Google and apparently sometimes at the 20 week scan they do not catch things because the heart is just so tiny, but especially with trisomy babies, they will usually see things on that 30 week scan, so please keep us in your prayers as I feel like that is another hurdle we need to get past and I feel like we will. I keep thinking drama free, drama free...Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-4988953385861243432011-02-23T11:16:00.000-06:002011-02-23T11:16:06.709-06:00It is a long road...Sometimes I feel paralyzed ~ weird I know, as I think I could psychoanalyze my feelings to death, but the reality is having a baby after losing one, is pretty tough emotionally. The feelings I have are so overwhelming. I am thankful, I am scared, I am sad, I am happy, I am tired, I am afraid to complain and yet the reality is some days are pretty miserable.<br />
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Last week, I went to the doctor and the nurse was concerned because my little guys heart rate was low. I was sitting in there alone and every fear I had just came rushing in and all around me. I know too well all of the things that can go wrong. I know this sounds bad, but in the spirit of honesty I have to report that I know I must trust in God, but the reality is that didn't work out so super last time. So anyways, they took me back for a quick ultrasound and his heart rate was perfect and you could see hair and see that he is in fact still a boy. I am so glad they did an ultrasound, but the fact is until I have him in my arms I am going to worry and there is no way around that. <br />
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Last week was also Valentines Day and my sweet Abbi got me this sweet book to read to the baby and I seriously had to take a deep breath, it was one of those moments of panic ~ what if... what if I don't get to bring him home, what if I get there hopes up and break there hearts again, what if, what if, what if... I have done absolutely zero to prepare for this baby and I know it is based in my own insecurities. I did register at Target this week and that was a feat. My sister in law is throwing us a shower and that is probably a very good thing. I have been having really weird dreams too. I am trying to be honest and not sound like a nut job, but I hope other rainbow mommies in my shoes maybe can somehow relate : )Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-81128069939553552402010-12-29T13:40:00.000-06:002010-12-29T13:40:24.590-06:00Happy Heavenly Birthday Michael...Today is filled with all sorts of emotions. I am happy to report our newest addition looks very healthy - with no markers whatsoever. This news coming right on Michael's birthday is really bittersweet. It is hard to imagine that one year ago today Michael was still alive and I was in labor at the hospital. I can honestly say not a day goes by that I do not think about him. I am not always sad, but I would be lying if I did not say that today I am sad and that I miss him. He is with God and I know we are all part of a bigger plan, but it is hard to imagine he is in a better place and yet, I do know that he is. But the mother in me would prefer to be the one taking care of him. I was out looking at a property a few months ago and looked out and saw a little angel in this cloud... Can you see it?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33vwvlR4m3GKfw-3RHaqd87wu1fnE2lWDrUWUlgjrXFjXDsAIwA0xuQQR12et2d1MIKQcTQ83tNocsJlY3mSwh3aP3KOuv0aj1viTfQzvRwBdnxGfXHlR4Ed0OgUFQOOkWGEhS2IB3h0/s1600/Michaels+Cloud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi33vwvlR4m3GKfw-3RHaqd87wu1fnE2lWDrUWUlgjrXFjXDsAIwA0xuQQR12et2d1MIKQcTQ83tNocsJlY3mSwh3aP3KOuv0aj1viTfQzvRwBdnxGfXHlR4Ed0OgUFQOOkWGEhS2IB3h0/s320/Michaels+Cloud.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I just love it so Happy Birthday little man!!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Then I walked in from having a minor little teary breakdown (just a little one...it happens) and my front doorbell rang and it was this from my brother and sister in law... Michael's Godparents - we are so blessed!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXaTx12Fx2NBh7PFLK85F3WboCa9kGpoWYGpAHoTi4cDAVU1OK1axnT5DgDnXhRrABDOsSvdTp7yaqKGqMA416bxQVpR6t296rH_9yZCb0ZLZZ4Kz47HatZBimtKSH21KqcWTdttjJfc/s1600/Rememberance+Wreath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXaTx12Fx2NBh7PFLK85F3WboCa9kGpoWYGpAHoTi4cDAVU1OK1axnT5DgDnXhRrABDOsSvdTp7yaqKGqMA416bxQVpR6t296rH_9yZCb0ZLZZ4Kz47HatZBimtKSH21KqcWTdttjJfc/s320/Rememberance+Wreath.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Isn't it just beautiful ( more tears and they are both happy and sad tears - mostly happy believe it or not, because they remembered ) . So tonight we are planning on setting off a firework in his memory and the girls love that. We were going to release balloons, BUT we cannot do that because we live on the water and sea turtles eat balloons and that would not be a good thing, so fireworks it is!!! <br />
<div style="text-align: left;"></div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-53341269255268452552010-12-26T15:52:00.006-06:002011-02-23T11:28:36.060-06:00It's Christmas time...Sometimes, I really do want to write and yet sometimes, it is almost harder to write then it is to try to repress what I may have to feel. Again, I write this in hopes that maybe someday, someone will read this and it will help. Even if it is just one person. It will be Michael's heavenly birthday in 3 days. 3 days and sometimes it feels like it was soooo long ago and other days it seems like it was just yesterday. Sadly, I figured out one of my major triggers is sitting at church. I almost always have to fight back tears at church. Now, I have not completely figured out what that means, but it is true. Sometimes I can not fight back the tears and it is just rough (and embarrassing).<br />
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Christmas Eve was hard, but Christmas day was peaceful. Perhaps the anticipation of potential sadness is what I feared and knowing this would have been Michael's First Christmas is possibly just a little overwhelming. Christmas morning one of my daughters best friends mother died. We knew it was coming, but that does not make it any easier and she was about my age. I just know leaving her family had to be sooooo hard. Of all days, of all times of the year in general... <br />
<div style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 22px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>I see the countless Christmas trees<br />
Around the world below,<br />
With tiny lights like heaven's stars<br />
Reflecting in the snow. <br />
<br />
The sight is so spectacular</i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> please wipe away that tear<br />
for I am spending CHRISTMAS</i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.<br />
<br />
I hear the many Christmas songs</i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> that people hold so dear<br />
but the sound of music can't compare</i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.<br />
<br />
I have no words to tell you </i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>of the JOY their voices bring<br />
for it is beyond description</i></span></div><div style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> to HEAR THE ANGELS SING. </i></span></div><blockquote style="background-color: black; color: white;"><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 22px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>I know how much you miss me, </i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>I see the pain inside your heart<br />
for I am spending CHRISTMAS </i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.<br />
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I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR </i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>or the PEACE here in this place<br />
Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS</i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face<br />
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I'll ask him to lift your spirit </i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>as I tell him of your love<br />
so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER</i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> as you lift your eyes above.<br />
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Please let your hearts be joyful</i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i> and let your spirit sing<br />
for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN</i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>and I’m walking WITH THE KING.</i></span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 122%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"><i>By Wanda Bencke</i></span></div></blockquote>Here is the kicker ~ a year later and I know I am blessed to have carried Michael and I am blessed to be pregnant again, but I have to be honest, I am not really all that satisfied with how things turned out. I do not understand how in any way shape form or fashion this was helpful. I know things happen for a reason, but the death of a baby, what reason is that??? I also find myself worrying of course about lightening striking twice and breaking my children's hearts. I think having to tell them bad news again is more than I could possibly handle. When you have been down this horrible road, you think it couldn't happen again, but it could, we know we are not somehow protected because it already happened, we know that no matter how hard we want something or pray for something it doesn't always work out. <br />
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On some crazy level, I must be superstitious because I am afraid to talk about this baby, we have not even talked about names, I almost do not want to know what the sex of this baby is, not because I am not excited or do not want this baby, but basic psychology tells me I am trying to protect my heart. EVERY time I catch a glimpse of my car clock it always has matching numbers, like it will be 10:10 or 2:22 even my odometer read 11111 today when I parked, and I know it is nuts (really I am ok with that) but what does that mean? (besides I have lost my mind) <br />
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So, then in my obsessive googling quest the other night, I ran across a blog that was pretty leveling. I hate to say someones misfortune made me feel less unfortunate, but it is true. It was not a babyloss blog per say, but is was a young OB/GYN doctors blog about her journey to an impoverished town and the women that had losses and even died giving birth as if we were back in medieval times because of very treatable and preventable things. I will find it and post it here, but these are real life horror stories and not mitigating our loss that is still, very real, but is is a different perspective for sure.<br />
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Emotionally Christmas is difficult for a lot of people and I certainly understand now more than ever, but it is Christmas and I always want this to be a special time of the year for all of my children, so essentially I am hunting for my happy place right now and they are my happy place. Of course Michael's birthday is in three days and that coupled with my "big" ultrasound in 2 days, I am absolutely a little bananas : ) so keep us in your thoughts and prayers for the next few days and I promise I will post the results of the "big" ultrasound Tuesday night.Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-15124575040649078612010-11-20T09:08:00.000-06:002010-11-20T09:08:04.644-06:00My head is working overtime...So I had to share a moment - yesterday I had a busy day at work and then of course as every mother knows my day really begins when my children come home from school, so the day began at 3:30. Morgan walked home from the bus stop and brought me a flower from Michael's tree down the street. I love that it reminds her of Michael and I have a bowl full of flowers now as well as the tree my brother grew for me so I will always have Michael's tree with me. This is the time of year it blooms. Abbi gets home a little later so Morgan and I jumped on the golf cart to buzz down and surprise her and pick her up (the stop is about a block from our house).<br />
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Anyways, we then proceeded to the waffle house for dinner (I know, I know... but they have waffles for dinner, yum!) which I may add is always some source of entertainment for me. I can't help it, but something always strikes me as funny when we go to the waffle house, so I digress for just a moment. Yesterday at dinner Abbi told me her sprite tasted awful, like fizzy water minus the syrup, so we told the waitress and mind you Abbi is sick (on antibiotics, but still sore throat and boogers to boot), so the waitress without hesitating picked Abbi's drink up and took a big swig and said ewww you are right and brought her a new one. Seriously, that really happened and all of our eyebrows were raised, AND I am still laughing a little this morning. <br />
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Then we headed over to Michael's the craft store and I proceeded to have a breakdown in the store. Yes I did and it took me until this morning to put it all completely together. No it is not the name, it is that time of the year... it was Christmas, I really missed all the Christmas hoopla last year, because I was on bed rest and we specifically waited until after the Holidays to have Michael to avoid associating it with the Holidays for the girls, but apparently my brain does not work the same. <br />
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The point is I have some issues to deal with and I would be lying if I did not tell you as I was being neurotic, I could not help but worry about every possible thing that could go wrong with this pregnancy - from cord issues to trisomies to brain development to kidneys - so while I know God is in control and I know all of this, but my head is working overtime right now so stay with me as I have a doctors appt. Wednesday and we may actually after all find out the flavor of this baby. Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-75188285526212834202010-11-14T19:03:00.000-06:002010-11-14T19:03:15.741-06:00Neurotic until further notice...Well I have not been writing much, but not because I have moved on, in fact it is quite the opposite. I have however been somewhat struggling internally with what I feel is appropriate because I want this blog to be about Michael. It became increasingly difficult to compare things to Michael as the days turned into months without feeling like I was not trying to hold on to him. So as I venture into another journey with my family, I will try to be honest with where we are and what is happening in our lives. <br />
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We dealt with a lot of opinions as we carried Michael despite his diagnosis and not all were supportive. I actually stayed pretty private (but for the blog) and still it is difficult to hear people thoughts when they are opposed to the choices you have made. With that said, we obviously wanted Michael and we miss him but we know we could never replace him. Funny after Michael was born I remember thinking how much pain we were all in that I would obviously never want another child for fear of losing him or her again ~ but sometimes faith wins out over fear and here we are today expecting our "rainbow baby".<br />
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So I think perhaps I should explain, A rainbow baby, is usually a baby that is born after a loss. I found this on a website about "Rainbow Babies" it is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope." <br />
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So there you have it, we are expecting our rainbow the beginning of May. I am officially in my second trimester and I have to admit, it is very difficult <strong>not</strong> to compare pregnancies. We opted out of some of the earlier tests because honestly they all came back normal with Michael and the risk of them coming back abnormal given my age is pretty high and those abnormals are often false, so we are waiting until our "big" scan, which is right after Christmas. We also opted out of the CVS because of the risk of miscarriage, so to say it is a little nerve wracking may be the understatement of the universe : ) but here we are praying for healthy. <br />
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So many things so not matter this time. All that matters is healthy, so please keep us in your prayers, because I am pretty much neurotic until further notice, if I told you any different, I would be telling a fib. Our big scan is actually scheduled for December 28th, the day before Michael's birthday. I have no idea if that is a good or a bad thing, but I had no desire for it to be on his birthday and honestly I did not want to do it before the holidays in case it was bad news.<br />
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If you are still following my blog, you may be wondering about the girls. Well, that was pretty funny. Morgan was very concerned about me and wanted to know if I was ever going to lose weight? So we told them and the first thing they asked was "Is this baby going to die too???" Tough question, but we are trying to be honest as we venture down this new journey with them. They know we don't know, they know we are concerned and that we are hopeful. As I have dealt with my grief I have met some incredible mothers that have carried to term their babies with fatal prognosis and many of these mothers are dealing with the same thoughts and fears. Before I had Michael it just never occurred to me how many different things could possibly happen to an unborn baby. So please keep all of my rainbow mommas in your prayers. I do not feel alone this time, but the fears are real and I am putting my faith in God that He will carry us all no matter what the outcome may be. Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-47220350907281413122010-10-13T19:41:00.000-05:002010-10-13T19:41:49.655-05:00Tomorrow is another day...So today was quite a day - some days will be this way, but today was hard for a very strange reason. I write this only because I swore that I would share my journey and this journey is not over. May be one day my journey will help someone even if it is a little then I am helping my little man fulfill one of his purposes because I am certain he had a few ; ) <br />
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It is time for me to go to the doctor - my regular OB/GYN doctor. Now this seems pretty normal, but as I look back and remember last year I realize I have not dealt with some of my feelings. I have some bitterness towards my doctors. We chose comfort care for Michael - meaning no extraordinary measures were to be taken and I was pretty high risk because of my blood pressure and excess fluid he was creating because he was not swallowing well. I just never felt very important given what was going on and I know they have a very busy practice but I called a few times and it would be days before anyone would return a call. They never did my glucose test or any non stress tests. Now, I will grant you I was certainly a little sensitive, but it was kind of like he wasn't going to make it anyways so really I was wasting their time. She quit doing ultrasounds and although normally I could understand, I knew from another friend of mine that was carrying a baby with similar problems she did an ultrasound often for her, so it was maybe a little jealousy but it was all I had. Even after Michael was born I had a migraine for a few days and called to see if they could help and no call back for several days. If ever I have felt unimportant - it was then. Whew! Ok perhaps I am harboring a little teensy resentment...<br />
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So today I needed to make an appointment and I decided it was time to change doctors... I picked up the phone a dozen times, but everytime I went to make that call my fingers would not work. Tomorrow is another day and tomorrow my fingers will work...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPLG3VDix_BQwZIJp_pzogZeIFi0p0bS6G0aA3UdzmGyrQjnqov1Bf1oX_zxa9nG5-KshjA4F2sPFbqaKr5NegHhuNi2anovwRuGIzQqnhAO_nTVeG-A2vNJQDxX7I_-Kn7kaGaKK7gE/s1600/IMG_3923.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPLG3VDix_BQwZIJp_pzogZeIFi0p0bS6G0aA3UdzmGyrQjnqov1Bf1oX_zxa9nG5-KshjA4F2sPFbqaKr5NegHhuNi2anovwRuGIzQqnhAO_nTVeG-A2vNJQDxX7I_-Kn7kaGaKK7gE/s320/IMG_3923.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Thanks Shannon for my picture from A Walk to Remember!</div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-4203737750456097982010-10-11T21:34:00.000-05:002010-10-11T21:34:19.301-05:00One year since...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7FrlzsHDUMzqH0rBc8yfjw59ZKq5bCtbybLf3SU88C6nEPn4eYOG5E6MRf8IuUulMMmw79oommAeAOGGIN_nUIFp5I8nEN5Rj6IZRiNGG_tvsDM0Llyt6nzvaS6YHhyphenhyphenFTtOcGliisZ_c/s1600/IMG_3716.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7FrlzsHDUMzqH0rBc8yfjw59ZKq5bCtbybLf3SU88C6nEPn4eYOG5E6MRf8IuUulMMmw79oommAeAOGGIN_nUIFp5I8nEN5Rj6IZRiNGG_tvsDM0Llyt6nzvaS6YHhyphenhyphenFTtOcGliisZ_c/s320/IMG_3716.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Thank you Shannon for remembering Michael...</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>So tomorrow is one year. One year since I was a carefree pregnant mom. One year since we found out there MAY be a problem. One year since my world changed. One year...<br />
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October is national <b>Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month</b>. October 15th has further been recognized as the international day of awareness ~ Friday October 15th, at 7 p.m. we will be participating in the "Wave of Light" by lighting a candle in remembrance of Michael all the little angels gone too soon. Please join us : )Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-55961395247941570402010-10-08T23:48:00.000-05:002010-10-08T23:48:05.722-05:00Be faithful in small things...<div style="text-align: center;"><em>Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. ~ Mother Teresa</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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This is so to the point and perfect for me right now. As a fellow angel mommy celebrated her little ones one year angleversary today. Did I say celebrate? Yes, celebrate. I am remembering all the angel babies and not a day goes by that I do not think of Michael. Not a sad thing, a very normal thing, but now as a mother to an angel, I celebrate every angels life because they are so important and these angels have all touched me. I know there stories, I know how important they are I even feel like I know what there little personalities were like. We are so blessed and I am so blessed to know all the mommies of the above angel babies. I have so much to share and I am thinking October is a good month to share ~ so hang with me while I sort through my heart...Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-52818312285326577192010-09-24T16:38:00.000-05:002010-09-24T16:38:52.836-05:00Are you still there?Well it has certainly been awhile - 3 months to be exact... The oil stopped, summer is over, the kids are back in school and we are still on our journey. I still grieve Michael, although I have to admit the grief is not nearly what it was. As I approach the "anniversarys" of finding out we were having a boy and then finding out there were problems I get a bit sad, but not fall apart sad more like, "what if things were different"? Well, things are not different, but we are blessed. I got up twice last night with my old retriever as she was sick and I thought for a brief moment, I should be doing this with a baby not a dog, BUT, I did it with the dog : ) and I am not going to lie, I am not a middle of the night person, but my husband, well he has a gift, really a gift. I <strong><u>know</u></strong> he can hear me, he <strong><u>knows</u></strong> I am up with dogs or kids and he seriously deserves an academy award for his ability to pretend he is sleeping. More on that later ~ I am back to blogging...Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-58313393677718304462010-06-29T23:18:00.000-05:002010-06-29T23:18:57.145-05:00A little bit more...<div style="text-align: center;">Thank you Shannon! Right after I posted my last entry - I got these pictures. I just am so lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life. Shannon lost her little guy Aubrey, to Thanatophoric dysplasia about 2 months ago. I am once again reminded this evening that I am blessed to have carried Michael and blessed to have such thoughtful and generous people to remember Michael with me. Thank you!!! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSXscNNks1KGUF9I24biAHi6ivE60iqx66Aam1R82og6VQXofjXredBPEuAA4K6_YDAw5Hivd67n1OjpTtfcJQD0t4j2JTUHRnGiGntUBNGBG04lYQn3tduscq8bkwj2V7V_leB00FmxE/s1600/Michael+1ey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSXscNNks1KGUF9I24biAHi6ivE60iqx66Aam1R82og6VQXofjXredBPEuAA4K6_YDAw5Hivd67n1OjpTtfcJQD0t4j2JTUHRnGiGntUBNGBG04lYQn3tduscq8bkwj2V7V_leB00FmxE/s400/Michael+1ey.jpg" width="400" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJAoA8psg2Slw1bIhuZMuS9W9ObGqEFObLGJU0Fx3SNCIt1mxUrTqcywvxQqlRv2XYLRt9OGvSO_nJJbfr5t8EzCsHmNWJI3UhVCM3d5h1ELq3Byiy8kFaojp7FZoyzxe7eP_-E3_E904/s1600/Michael+Disney+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJAoA8psg2Slw1bIhuZMuS9W9ObGqEFObLGJU0Fx3SNCIt1mxUrTqcywvxQqlRv2XYLRt9OGvSO_nJJbfr5t8EzCsHmNWJI3UhVCM3d5h1ELq3Byiy8kFaojp7FZoyzxe7eP_-E3_E904/s400/Michael+Disney+2.JPG" width="300" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJE_dtC0tRTMOs6MiZSRld7VW8ZsyB3EOX13hNamxaaRI29ZxnkL3RPUYqTeAdRf-uocnIU0zfZjB3TS_PYf_LBIXNw-wi0NMzrxiai-DyKvxll_DO0nvEfJcvDkX5_qB3mMX2_eogOs/s1600/Michael+Disney+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJE_dtC0tRTMOs6MiZSRld7VW8ZsyB3EOX13hNamxaaRI29ZxnkL3RPUYqTeAdRf-uocnIU0zfZjB3TS_PYf_LBIXNw-wi0NMzrxiai-DyKvxll_DO0nvEfJcvDkX5_qB3mMX2_eogOs/s400/Michael+Disney+3.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-84838462285878345562010-06-29T18:15:00.000-05:002010-06-29T18:15:25.526-05:006 Months Today<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Time sure does fly... I hate that it does, but it does. I woke up this morning and just laid in bed and my 8 year old (not knowing today is 6 months of course) asked me if she could lay in bed and watch this show about newborns. Of course you can - and she proceeds to ask me questions about Michael, which is fine, she just hasn't in awhile. She ends it with a big juicy question, "Can we have another one, one that we can keep?" Tough question, she certainly made me squirm : ) Then my sweet sister in law (never ever forgets) text me to tell me she was thinking about Michael, and with love. She also remembered Michael on my birthday with a bracelet that is really cool, I will take a picture and post I promise. It has a gemstone for each of my children and she of course did not forget Michael. I am blessed, I know that life goes on and I am at peace, but I love that people remember him. I worry that when I die someone will forget to put him in the coffin with me (silly for sure, like I am going to care huh?) but it is what it is, I am a tad neurotic. It is unlikely to change this late in the game.</div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Anyways, fast forward to a few tears today, it happened a few times, but overall a good day and not a day of depression I promise. Then the end of the day and a friend that lost her baby to Triploidy sent me this picture...</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAg_fj5ytcZF7DLq19-K1kXZHnyryYi9vGMykSQAIpgpN5u2VS8wt-9si07c8jLb-Pgq0UxvMljzU9muD4iMAAGP1anYjMBeSRfzSSYSC7OqmRW7JWPM21c1V9okBXJuIqwM6Bd-GGfDg/s1600/mail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAg_fj5ytcZF7DLq19-K1kXZHnyryYi9vGMykSQAIpgpN5u2VS8wt-9si07c8jLb-Pgq0UxvMljzU9muD4iMAAGP1anYjMBeSRfzSSYSC7OqmRW7JWPM21c1V9okBXJuIqwM6Bd-GGfDg/s400/mail.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">How incredibly sweet is that?!? I love, love, love this perfect timing. She did not even realize today is 6 months. 6 months missing him. I may read into things (my husband will assure you that I do), but I was thinking earlier (before this) about the strength that God gives us to carry us through every journey. If this is not a reminder from God that he has Michael and His timing is perfect, not mine and that I need to listen and pay attention to His message and give my worries right back to Him. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">I do have a little angel up there... </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Visit her Blog when you can, it is <a href="http://www.whitneyjill.com/">http://www.whitneyjill.com/</a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">My favorite quote on her blog and sums up my feelings today...</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><em>"Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." </em></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>— A.A. Milne</em></strong></div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-84570738622080915832010-06-15T09:24:00.000-05:002010-06-15T09:24:15.414-05:00Goodmorning Destin!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlt8jatBfDEa_BA1U7eNs_k51Uipf4feh2boae0lJ9SoKRSw5RjltXCKbXii8AZmAv-s46R2rgVu7Ia8CzkM3xl-s5m3MwrFYp5HaLDKZH_U5qJcT9zfSrvE4tw9PjZ-oJ3EzFlofrMEU/s1600/Goodmorning+Cloud+lining.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" qu="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlt8jatBfDEa_BA1U7eNs_k51Uipf4feh2boae0lJ9SoKRSw5RjltXCKbXii8AZmAv-s46R2rgVu7Ia8CzkM3xl-s5m3MwrFYp5HaLDKZH_U5qJcT9zfSrvE4tw9PjZ-oJ3EzFlofrMEU/s320/Goodmorning+Cloud+lining.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love this city I live in, please pray we can handle the oil spill drifting towards us...</div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-56590799883185481672010-05-17T10:43:00.002-05:002010-05-18T07:52:11.475-05:00Remembering MatthewA few weeks I posted about another Trisomy 18 baby, Matthew, his mommy just sent me a video of rememberance so I wanted to share, it is so sweet. <br />
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<object height="344" style="background-image: url(http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/xH8c3GndXbc/hqdefault.jpg);" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xH8c3GndXbc&hl=en_US&fs=1"></P><p></P><p>
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</P><p><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xH8c3GndXbc&hl=en_US&fs=1" width="425" height="344" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-79589652111831759872010-05-11T21:51:00.001-05:002010-05-11T21:54:09.504-05:00Why today?I have had a horrid migraine most of the day, but today was the ignition of a few issues perhaps I have not dealt with very well. <br />
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A good friend of mine died tonight of Osteosarcoma. We have grown apart over the years mainly because I moved away and kids growing up & yadda yadda - but she is someone near and dear to my heart and our daughters are still close friends, so my heart is broken for her family, she is my other Jessica. Kim was my walking buddy, my friend that would laugh at me and not judge me and looked out for my daughter as if she were hers. One night ingrained in my memory forever was of our daughters putting on one of many performances. They were fabulous - I mean they had candles lit, printed out programs for us and I think we even had wine (I am confident we did) and as always, this performance ended with both of them diving into the pool in a ballet kind of way and it was all done to music. Our daughters were planners but they liked (and still do) to have fun, so I was actually paying attention to every detail because each moment was planned and I knew it. They spent TIME on this performance. Kim and I sat and we laughed and we enjoyed our daughters, really enjoyed them and appreciated what they did for us. They did it out of love and I remember that night specifically, because Kim pointed that out to me. NOT that I did not know this, but Kim always made me laugh and she made me think and she made me slow down to pay attention. She was one of those brutally honest, but in a good way people. So tonight it is fitting as I sit and remember her as the funny and honest and kind mother, wife, daughter and friend that she was. I want to live my life with few regrets and would love to die having people remember me the way I remember Kim. <br />
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I do hope she is holding Michael tonight as the thought of her holding my son fills me with joy. Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers ~ she was too young to be taken from her family. I do not want to post pictures I don't have permission to post, but this is Kim's puppy and if you knew Kim, you would know how fitting this picture is. You will be missed...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcAbJZRs8dQKNGY6ktZCuMH4icpQCUMG723yn5WmKT2AqWv7Y0irbioslQ6EK8l413H6BuVZ5q-yGZlCQ9oPSz9tlqCq-dno-GAoZAQrBFJfbGwhBCsN2NzShOwpHUC6RWz4E3rmghUXw/s1600/kims+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcAbJZRs8dQKNGY6ktZCuMH4icpQCUMG723yn5WmKT2AqWv7Y0irbioslQ6EK8l413H6BuVZ5q-yGZlCQ9oPSz9tlqCq-dno-GAoZAQrBFJfbGwhBCsN2NzShOwpHUC6RWz4E3rmghUXw/s320/kims+baby.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-29419207608907969672010-05-10T09:20:00.001-05:002010-05-10T09:20:40.078-05:00Happy Mothers Day!and it was... I know I post less frequently as I do have a new blog I am posting on fairly regularly, but it is not so personal. It is <a href="http://destinitely.blogspot.com/">"Little Things Along the Emerald Coast"</a> and I am doing this primarily to capture my family and how pretty it is where we live, so if you are still reading and you get a moment please pop over there and I would love it if you would follow because I am fairly sure my husband thinks I have lost my mind... Sometimes he is occasionally right, but it is fun anyways. <br />
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Now out of my three girls obviously the oldest, is in graduate school and understands more than anyone and the 2 younger ones though, it is still painful, but they talk with me and Morgan my youngest (that is still kind of strange - because I feel like Michael is the youngest, but you get the point) always says Michael sends her signs and they are in the form of a heart (because he had a problem with his heart). I think this is very sweet. Last night at dinner, she found a heart : ), she finds heart shaped rocks ALL the time and leaves, you name it. I have to say, she is either more observant or right, but regardless I love that she feels this connection.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrOSwW19uHvpwVgmyVZ__ttrF-YDPCIxlPWs4QnVvRy0nFZoSvaw3OFHm05Nro0xqFpfzWPGdqzls74zwRTCy-kbioFlNGI2PRrAc48sPVipRZ4cLXCX6X6BklfgH8m_z6YkjoQ3TzNUE/s1600/strawberry+heart+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrOSwW19uHvpwVgmyVZ__ttrF-YDPCIxlPWs4QnVvRy0nFZoSvaw3OFHm05Nro0xqFpfzWPGdqzls74zwRTCy-kbioFlNGI2PRrAc48sPVipRZ4cLXCX6X6BklfgH8m_z6YkjoQ3TzNUE/s320/strawberry+heart+009.JPG" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This was her strawberry at dinner.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOk5WnmO1EL5MCuy0dVsROPXanaiqXrn-ofyyxOnZIC-MRIbMGrzEOMQQS3GhqvOvzXKps3-4DpXLBYESdLW4MyNWqOsiBGoOU8f2Ps0zQwN1AeYzmmaojqMSNHLNKlEGJt7Eq_FzRvAM/s1600/morgan+leaf+heart+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOk5WnmO1EL5MCuy0dVsROPXanaiqXrn-ofyyxOnZIC-MRIbMGrzEOMQQS3GhqvOvzXKps3-4DpXLBYESdLW4MyNWqOsiBGoOU8f2Ps0zQwN1AeYzmmaojqMSNHLNKlEGJt7Eq_FzRvAM/s320/morgan+leaf+heart+1.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A leaf she found in the rain forest in Peurto Rico...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfJE4IkEk7Sh-SkH-Vr3jUKyrjL9y3Tp5VftBIt9i_rt75WfDyVs-HmCM_qUZp4MJSx4H7vmJY9MNiyZuug_UvA0ScbQBK9pA-J8sGSVYeTdErO9mRrWkln2vRgt77rZxYmeKUNi1PBhA/s1600/Morgan+leaf+heart+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfJE4IkEk7Sh-SkH-Vr3jUKyrjL9y3Tp5VftBIt9i_rt75WfDyVs-HmCM_qUZp4MJSx4H7vmJY9MNiyZuug_UvA0ScbQBK9pA-J8sGSVYeTdErO9mRrWkln2vRgt77rZxYmeKUNi1PBhA/s320/Morgan+leaf+heart+2.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Another leaf she found...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now I can not get Morgan's personality across very well, but she is extremely persistent and these are just three photos - IF I had my camera with me on many other heart conquests I could literally fill this page up, I love it. I also got a lot of pots full of forget me nots, many hearts and one with M for Michael all over it and they took me fishing which was so pretty. I will post pictures of that on my other blog : )</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On a sad note another baby has been lost to Trisomy 18. Morgan brought me home a hand written story I will attempt to tell. This little guys name was Joshua and Joshua's sister is in Morgans classroom. Same teacher, so sad and bizarre. 2 - Trisomy 18 babies lost to two little girls baby brothers in the same year, same class and same teacher. Most Trisomy 18 babies are girls so it is even more coincidental.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here it goes ~ I am spelling the way she does as well : </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5-4-10</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Dear mommy,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Today Bethany came back with pictures of her brother his name Joshua. She showed them Mrs. Carroll, I asked if I could see them she said yes. I said that looks like my brother. Mrs. Carroll asked if I got to hold Micheal like Bethany held her brother. I said yes, Mrs. Carroll said that's a special moment. Then we went back to our seats. Sense she sits close to me I asked her if she knew what the disease was called? She said full trisomy 18. I said thats exactly what my little brother had. She asked what his name was? I said Micheal. Then I asked what her brothers name was she said Joshua. She also said her mom is still sad. She also said they got model magic and ink to make footprints and handprints Model magic to make foot presses. Ink to make prints. She also had an ornament. I asked if she got it from string of pearls she said no she got it from the store. the end.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5-4-10 (I found this in her back pack)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Today is a very good day. Even though I heard about Bethany Cause I know I'm not the only one who had it happen to there little brother at least not the only one I know. I also finished an art project in art class. We had sloppy joes at lunch they were yummy. Are you glad you got to hear about the booms on the radio this morning. Did you have a good lunch with meme? Did you see the booms yet? the end</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Apparently she has a lot going on in her little head - trisomy 18, the oil spill and sloppy joes : ) I love my children. Please pray for Joshua and his family, it is so hard those first few months especially.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1805602225982822736.post-60337612721861697852010-05-03T01:29:00.000-05:002010-05-03T01:29:14.037-05:00Gulf Coast Oil spill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoPnA8H8nqDGsC0zTBOPJ3eI5NXsZWqwpP6K5ypjWmmi3O2hmYKbiD2a4Y34xrOw6DMsIFDDj15pNEgABzle40X8qVKpdvT-GMnL3PpCh7vo3w34naynwAPoECkNPbmZaRz5jT_AcRn3M/s1600/Claudette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoPnA8H8nqDGsC0zTBOPJ3eI5NXsZWqwpP6K5ypjWmmi3O2hmYKbiD2a4Y34xrOw6DMsIFDDj15pNEgABzle40X8qVKpdvT-GMnL3PpCh7vo3w34naynwAPoECkNPbmZaRz5jT_AcRn3M/s320/Claudette.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div>Well, I am somewhat speechless as I think about what is brewing out in our most beautiful waters along the gulf coast. I took the girls out and to be honest it was not a pretty day, but I am worried, worried it may be a long time before they can enjoy the afternoon at the beach : (<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIa8BDkTt8IKk_7bj_9qzHlMttkh6w9UbffWj5njvtmM7Nj9Rji0wTWj6DGbKz6xSCdXn-d3dfOfmaCm-pqHad-5t22ylXfkuoo2awRBjVkNNplybvUL6qoS6-SnQyTimeUWdMdWlI2c8/s1600/DSC_0434.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIa8BDkTt8IKk_7bj_9qzHlMttkh6w9UbffWj5njvtmM7Nj9Rji0wTWj6DGbKz6xSCdXn-d3dfOfmaCm-pqHad-5t22ylXfkuoo2awRBjVkNNplybvUL6qoS6-SnQyTimeUWdMdWlI2c8/s320/DSC_0434.JPG" tt="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUxxyebNPMrj4J1fGBFFKPUtX1QJpxKDiqnVqyweeGtP2uxLIxtmPOM5j5886mMz8lgl1TxRfaBxEbCzivtvO5GKyo41qer8mfjyZWLkZh0LMRd6qVlySOnXApYlp3bzkYRFdcctefjK0/s1600/Abbi+%26+Morgan+beach+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUxxyebNPMrj4J1fGBFFKPUtX1QJpxKDiqnVqyweeGtP2uxLIxtmPOM5j5886mMz8lgl1TxRfaBxEbCzivtvO5GKyo41qer8mfjyZWLkZh0LMRd6qVlySOnXApYlp3bzkYRFdcctefjK0/s320/Abbi+%26+Morgan+beach+1.JPG" tt="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1WeXrdQtOazGOb38UjZFNtM5Y5yXdzda74u-0T83TGVIcvBtGBXNdWrRVaXue9sEwlSGDdQTE3pdPyFWHRQvBsOqy5G2JeLVXNGLz60WttSOJyrJZn_42fTaHkibcBRzJ7mIr0SCzVLg/s1600/Abbi+and+morgan+beach+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1WeXrdQtOazGOb38UjZFNtM5Y5yXdzda74u-0T83TGVIcvBtGBXNdWrRVaXue9sEwlSGDdQTE3pdPyFWHRQvBsOqy5G2JeLVXNGLz60WttSOJyrJZn_42fTaHkibcBRzJ7mIr0SCzVLg/s320/Abbi+and+morgan+beach+2.JPG" tt="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjPcVkmgNR6zgIymBgIa481HX47h3zXdNvwBnlQiLwOePhoUZ6PC2hpHRWrgSN3t4aROBFl3IQVvc9jQ4SWrIcxPRHjWTn8d81NbNuQEKztGE1g3J-PXfutyZpbqnufBkU9wiK51pIGM/s1600/stingray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjPcVkmgNR6zgIymBgIa481HX47h3zXdNvwBnlQiLwOePhoUZ6PC2hpHRWrgSN3t4aROBFl3IQVvc9jQ4SWrIcxPRHjWTn8d81NbNuQEKztGE1g3J-PXfutyZpbqnufBkU9wiK51pIGM/s320/stingray.jpg" tt="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJnLEs6YGqSOeh3C3CTJGMg3eA-zhCo4N-HHw8bpVC1ZPFF9t9QtVV5QoUfmILwB8HwQOFoiuAQcRre-mO3VFhmKU5FHkPruKWQo0qA2CFqKkxbT2JoaKcv_dNnWovTBUa5lQ1u_K4qvY/s1600/Bill's+day+off.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJnLEs6YGqSOeh3C3CTJGMg3eA-zhCo4N-HHw8bpVC1ZPFF9t9QtVV5QoUfmILwB8HwQOFoiuAQcRre-mO3VFhmKU5FHkPruKWQo0qA2CFqKkxbT2JoaKcv_dNnWovTBUa5lQ1u_K4qvY/s320/Bill's+day+off.jpg" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Don't worry, this guy was safely released : ) but, the magnitude of what is happening out in the gulf concerns everyone ~ we are so dependent on the water, our town is dependent on tourism and fishing. Hurricanes we can brace for and rebuild, but this, this is worse. Our animals won't know to leave, the birds, the fish, the sea mammals it effects everything and everyone. We are as prepared as we can be. We have our gloves and boots and we have signed up to "volunteer" but now, now we sit, we wait, we watch and we pray... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Pelicans ~ the pelicans... they are not the best hunters. We have a lot of pelicans and they love to hang out on the docks, they are characters. We have Brown Pelicans and you can tell the babies because they have what we call underpants (white under bellies) and we have quite a few babies right now so I worry. I worry about the families, the dolphins, the fish, the crabs, the plankton, the turtles, the sharks, the boats, the beaches, well... everything because it is so far reaching and the ripple effect is so frightening. If we are spared, and I of course hope we are, it is still going to devastate our fragile eco-system (it already has and is) and it is already touching families and wildlife along the Louisiana coast. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">On a happy note, my Stephanie made it through surgery and all went well, but she still needs prayers as she heals and worries with me because I know her and that is what she does. </div>Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133027251399899706noreply@blogger.com2