Why today?

I have had a horrid migraine most of the day, but today was the ignition of a few issues perhaps I have not dealt with very well. 

A good friend of mine died tonight of Osteosarcoma.  We have grown apart over the years mainly because I moved away and kids growing up & yadda yadda - but she is someone near and dear to my heart and our daughters are still close friends, so my heart is broken for her family, she is my other Jessica.  Kim was my walking buddy, my friend that would laugh at me and not judge me and looked out for my daughter as if she were hers.  One night ingrained in my memory forever was of our daughters putting on one of many performances.  They were fabulous - I mean they had candles lit, printed out programs for us and I think we even had wine (I am confident we did) and as always, this performance ended with both of them diving into the pool in a ballet kind of way and it was all done to music. Our daughters were planners but they liked (and still do) to have fun, so I was actually paying attention to every detail because each moment was planned and I knew it.  They spent TIME on this performance.  Kim and I sat and we laughed and we enjoyed our daughters, really enjoyed them and appreciated what they did for us.  They did it out of love and I remember that night specifically, because Kim pointed that out to me.  NOT that I did not know this, but Kim always made me laugh and she made me think and she made me slow down to pay attention.  She was one of those brutally honest, but in a good way people.  So tonight it is fitting as I sit and remember her as the funny and honest and kind mother, wife, daughter and friend that she was.  I want to live my life with few regrets and would love to die having people remember me the way I remember Kim. 

I do hope she is holding Michael tonight as the thought of her holding my son fills me with joy.  Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers ~ she was too young to be taken from her family.  I do not want to post pictures I don't have permission to post, but this is Kim's puppy and if you knew Kim, you would know how fitting this picture is.  You will be missed...