Tomorrow is another day...

So today was quite a day - some days will be this way, but today was hard for a very strange reason.  I write this only because I swore that I would share my journey and this journey is not over.  May be one day my journey will help someone even if it is a little then I am helping my little man fulfill one of his purposes because I am certain he had a few ; )

It is time for me to go to the doctor - my regular OB/GYN doctor.  Now this seems pretty normal, but as I look back and remember last year I realize I have not dealt with some of my feelings.  I have some bitterness towards my doctors.  We chose comfort care for Michael - meaning no extraordinary measures were to be taken and I was pretty high risk because of my blood pressure and excess fluid he was creating because he was not swallowing well.  I just never felt very important given what was going on and I know they have a very busy practice but I called a few times and it would be days before anyone would return a call.  They never did my glucose test or any non stress tests.  Now, I will grant you I was certainly a little sensitive, but it was kind of like he wasn't going to make it anyways so really I was wasting their time.  She quit doing ultrasounds and although normally I could understand, I knew from another friend of mine that was carrying a baby with similar problems she did an ultrasound often for her, so it was maybe a little jealousy but it was all I had.  Even after Michael was born I had a migraine for a few days and called to see if they could help and no call back for several days.  If ever I have felt unimportant - it was then.  Whew! Ok perhaps I am harboring a little teensy resentment...

So today I needed to make an appointment and I decided it was time to change doctors...  I picked up the phone a dozen times, but everytime I went to make that call my fingers would not work.  Tomorrow is another day and tomorrow my fingers will work...

Thanks Shannon for my picture from A Walk to Remember!