Are you still there?

Well it has certainly been awhile - 3 months to be exact...  The oil stopped, summer is over, the kids are back in school and we are still on our journey.  I still grieve Michael, although I have to admit the grief is not nearly what it was.  As I approach the "anniversarys"  of finding out we were having a boy and then finding out there were problems I get a bit sad, but not fall apart sad more like, "what if things were different"? Well, things are not different, but we are blessed.  I got up twice last night with my old retriever as she was sick and I thought for a brief moment, I should be doing this with a baby not a dog, BUT,  I did it with the dog :  ) and I am not going to lie, I am not a middle of the night person, but my husband, well he has a gift, really a gift. I know he can hear me, he knows I am up with dogs or kids and he seriously deserves an academy award for his ability to pretend he is sleeping.  More on that later ~ I am back to blogging...